If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
