dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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