butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Randomize
