I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
