He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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