Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
