I want to stick my p in your. b.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
