Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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