I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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