Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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