i already hear my dad disowning me
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
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wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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