goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
