a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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