we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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