A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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