Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Its about making memories worth repressing
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
