There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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