Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
