I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Randomize
