i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
