Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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