You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
There r osticjed everywhere
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
