Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
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Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
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so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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