Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Be still, my beating vagina.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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