oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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