Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
