The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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