When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize