yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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