the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
