this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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