Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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