i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Randomize
