just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
