So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?