It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob