I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.