You're my little dorito
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize