I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Randomize
