he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
