Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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