I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
