And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
