He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
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