margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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