When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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