Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
