Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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