I am puke
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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