I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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