I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
