Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
