And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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