I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
