I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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